Icebreaker: How many people on here would like to get married? How many of you don’t want to get married? How many are not sure if you want to get married?
Marriage and The Family are a fundamental belief of the church. Let’s read the belief as quoted from the church’s website:
Marriage was divinely established in Eden and affirmed by Jesus to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman in loving companionship. For the Christian a marriage commitment is to God as well as to the spouse, and should be entered into only between a man and a woman who share a common faith. Mutual love, honor, respect, and responsibility are the fabric of this relationship, which is to reflect the love, sanctity, closeness, and permanence of the relationship between Christ and His church. Regarding divorce, Jesus taught that the person who divorces a spouse, except for fornication, and marries another, commits adultery. Although some family relationships may fall short of the ideal, a man and a woman who fully commit themselves to each other in Christ through marriage may achieve loving unity through the guidance of the Spirit and the nurture of the church. God blesses the family and intends that its members shall assist each other toward complete maturity. Increasing family closeness is one of the earmarks of the final gospel message. Parents are to bring up their children to love and obey the Lord. By their example and their words they are to teach them that Christ is a loving, tender, and caring guide who wants them to become members of His body, the family of God which embraces both single and married persons. (Gen. 2:18-25; Exod. 20:12; Deut. 6:5-9; Prov. 22:6; Mal. 4:5, 6; Matt. 5:31, 32; 19:3-9, 12; Mark 10:11, 12; John 2:1-11; 1 Cor. 7:7, 10, 11; 2 Cor. 6:14; Eph. 5:21-33; 6:1-4.)www.adventist.org/beliefs/fundamental-beliefs/living/marriage-and-the-family/
Before we can talk about marriage, we must first talk about getting there; so we will talk briefly about courting (aka intentional dating) that precedes marriage.
Detour: Quick Talk On Courtship (Intentional Dating)…
Courtship needs its own study and presentation, but we will mention a little here:
According to a very well respected Preacher (Jeremiah Davis), courtship is a sincere and earnest effort between two people to see if it’s God’s will for them to get married.
There is a purpose behind the process.
And just to back up a little bit further, it is so crucial to have a relationship with the Lord first, because before you can ask who should I marry, the first question should be Lord is it your will that I should get married?
For some, the Lord may be calling you to a single life, whether for salvation’s sake or until further notice. The enemy knows our desires (because we make it known, whether through conversations with friends or what we constantly look at or read, or spend our time on) and he is in the business of hooking up God’s people with individuals who serve him:
There are many of the young whom God would accept as laborers in the various branches of His work, but Satan steps in and so entangles them in his web that they become estranged from God and powerless in His work. Satan is a sharp and persevering workman. He knows just how to entrap the unwary, and it is an alarming fact that but few succeed in escaping from his wiles.Adventist Home, 81.1
Back To Marriage & Family…
Bible Texts On Marriage & Family
God created Adam and then said it was not good for man to be alone. He then made a ‘help-meet’ from a rib that was taken from his side (not his head nor his foot, but his side). Here are a just few texts on marriage and divorce (we only give the references, you have to look up the verses for yourself. Plus there are many more references from the Fundamental Belief mentioned above):
- Genesis 2:18, 21-25.
- Mark 10:6-9
- Matt 5:31-32 / Mark 10: 2-5 [On divorce: referring to the law in Deut 24:1]
Jesus also showed His blessing on marriage by attending a wedding in John 2:1-11 (first act of public ministry). [Questions? Comments?]
Bible Texts: On Children / Child-Rearing
In the Books of Psalms and Proverbs especially, we find a few powerful scriptures about children and training them. Here are just a few [remember to look up these verses for yourself]:
- Gen 1:28
- Psalms 127:3-5
- Prov 22:6
- Prov 29:15
Prophetic Texts On Marriage & Family
WARNINGS AGAINST HASTY MARRIAGES: Potential Workers for God Entangled—Young men have received the truth and run well for a season, but Satan has woven his meshes about them in unwise attachments and poor marriages. This he saw would be the most successful way he could allure them from the path of holiness.Testimonies From The Church 5, 114, 115
GOD’S PURPOSE: God’s Purpose for the Husband and Wife—God made from the man a woman, to be a companion and helpmeet for him, to be one with him, to cheer, encourage, and bless him, he in his turn to be her strong helper. All who enter into matrimonial relations with a holy purpose—the husband to obtain the pure affections of a woman’s heart, the wife to soften and improve her husband’s character and give it completeness—fulfill God’s purpose for them. Christ came not to destroy this institution, but to restore it to its original sanctity and elevation. He came to restore the moral image of God in man, and He began His work by sanctioning the marriage relation.Manuscript 16, 1899. Adventist Home 99.
SANCTITY OF THE FAMILY CIRCLE—There is a sacred circle around every family which should be preserved. No other one has any right in that sacred circle. The husband and wife should be all to each other. The wife should have no secrets to keep from her husband and let others know, and the husband should have no secrets to keep from his wife to relate to others. The heart of his wife should be the grave for the faults of the husband, and the heart of the husband the grave for his wife’s faults. Never should either party indulge in a joke at the expense of the other’s feelings. Never should either the husband or wife in sport or in any other manner complain of each other to others, for frequently indulging in this foolish and what may seem perfectly harmless joking will end in trial with each other and perhaps estrangement. I have been shown that there should be a sacred shield around every family.Adventist Home 177.1
THE FAMILY CIRCLE A SCHOOL—In His wisdom the Lord has decreed that the family shall be the greatest of all educational agencies. It is in the home that the education of the child is to begin. Here is his first school. Here, with his parents as instructors, he is to learn the lessons that are to guide him throughout life—lessons of respect, obedience, reverence, self-control. The educational influences of the home are a decided power for good or for evil. They are in many respects silent and gradual, but if exerted on the right side, they become a far-reaching power for truth and righteousness. If the child is not instructed aright here, Satan will educate him through agencies of his choosing. How important, then, is the school in the home.Adventist Home 182.2
To learn more, we also invite you to read the books Adventist Home and Education on insight in courting, marriage, child-rearing and training. You can also purchase these books in paperback if you prefer (if interested, let us know). [Questions? Comments?]